A Labyrinth of Drabble
by theshadowcat
Summary: Drabble me. A bunch of silly stories that really don't have any rhyme or meaning. Rated for suggestive nature in some of the stories.
1. Christmas Drabble

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the Labyrinth or any of its characters, so no suing. Savvy?

**Author's Notes:** A friend pointed me in the direction of this funny little website that is basically Mad Libs for the computer. You type in a bunch of words and it generates a silly little story. I'll post the website on my author's page if you're interested in creating your own bits of madness. I'll update as they put in new base stories.

* * *

**I'm Dreaming Of A Dark Christmas**

It was Christmas Eve. Sarah sat softly on a bridge, sipping bright eggnog.

She looked at the smelly labyrinth hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Jareth had hung it there, just before they looked at each other tightly and then fell into each other's arms and kicked each other's tight butt.

If only I hadn't been so glittery, Sarah thought, pouring a cold amount of rum into her eggnog. Then Jareth might not have got so iridescent and left me all alone at Christmas time. She wiped away a dank tear and held her blond hair in her hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a scary voice lifted manly up in song.

_I'm dreaming of a dark Christmas_

_Just it's only forever, not long at all_

Sarah ran to the door. It was Jareth, looking shiny all over with snow.

"I missed you smartly," Jareth said. "And I wanted to kick your tight butt again."

Sarah hugged Jareth and started to sob.

"I think you're drunk," Jareth said.

"I think so too," Sarah said and they kicked each other's tight butt until they knocked the Christmas tree over.

On Christmas Day, they ate roasted dog mismatched eyes and lived huskily until Sarah got drunk again.

* * *

**I Saw Jareth Kissing Santa Claus**

Sarah woke up in the middle of the night. She was thirsty and so she decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, she couldn't wait to see her presents. There was one smelly box that looked like a goblin.

Then Sarah noticed that Jareth was out of bed too. He must not have been able to wait for his presents either.

Sarah thought that she would surprise Jareth. Maybe even sneak up behind him and kick him on his dank mismatched eyes. That always made Jareth iridescent.

Sarah crept tightly down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its scary lights, and the presents, heaped up manly, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Jareth. Kissing someone.

Sarah was so angry, she picked up a crystal from a table and threw it softly on a bridge.

They both looked around.

"Jareth, you dark dog!" Sarah yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Sarah looked and then rubbed her blond hair and looked again. It was Santa Claus.

"Let me explain," Jareth said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course he had to give me a kiss. And what a shiny kiss it was."

"Well, I suppose," Sarah said huskily. "If he was under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be cold."

That seemed reasonable. Sarah went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.

Santa was the best kisser ever, it's only forever, not long at all. He made Sarah's tight butt feel all bright.

"You see?" Jareth said smartly and Sarah saw. So they had a threeway.

Everybody's presents were late.


	2. New Year's Eve Drabble

**Shiny Lang Syne**

Sarah sipped softly at her drink and stood shiny behind a labyrinth. She wasn't sure why she had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. She was no good at parties anyhow. They always made her feel smelly and she ended up like she was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how bright her blond hair got when she was nervous.

Well, truth be told, Sarah knew very well why she was at the party: to see Jareth.

Ah, Jareth. Just the thought of him, the chance of a glimpse of his dank mismatched eyes made Sarah's heart beat it's only forever, not long at all.

But tonight everyone was masked. Sarah peered tightly through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Jareth. There, she thought, the man over by the crystal, the dark one with the dog mask. It had to be Jareth. No one else could look so iridescent, even in a dog mask.

He began to walk Sarah's way and Sarah started to panic. What if he actually _talked_ to Sarah?

Jareth came right up to Sarah and Sarah thought that she was going to faint.

"Hello," Jareth said manly. "What are you doing over here all alone?"

"Oh, just looking at the goblin," Sarah said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so _scary_.

Just then, a glittery voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."

Sarah's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Jareth might ...

"Happy New Year!"

Jareth swept Sarah into his arms, bent her on a bridge, and kissed Sarah smartly, slipping her the tongue and groping her tight butt.

Sarah could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. She reached out huskily and pulled Jareth's mask off his face. It _was_ Jareth! "I knew it was you," Sarah said and took her own mask off.

"And it's ... you," Jareth said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."

Sarah watched him go. He would be right back, Sarah was sure. Just as soon as he had his punch.

And then they would fall in love.


	3. Valentine's Day Drabble

**A Crystal In Time**

On an iridescent and dark morning, Sarah sat on a bridge. It was Valentine's Day and she was all alone. Her blond hair ached in sorrow for the secret love that she could never share. How could she expect Jareth to love someone with a dank tight butt?

Tightly, she began to recite a poem she had composed. "Ah, my love is like a smelly scary goblin, all on a summer's day. I wish my Jareth would kick me, in his own bright way..."

"Do you?" Jareth sat down beside Sarah and put his hand on Sarah's mismatched eyes. "I think that could be arranged."

Sarah gasped manly. "But what about my dank tight butt?"

"I like it," Jareth said softly. "I think it's shiny."

They came together and their kiss was it's only forever, not long at all.

"I love you," Sarah said huskily.

"I love you too," Jareth replied and kicked her.

They bought a dog, moved in together, and lived smartly ever after.

* * *

**To Huskily Kick**

Sarah and Jareth were celebrating an iridescent Valentine's Day together. Sarah had cooked a dank dinner and they ate on a bridge by candlelight.

"My darling," Jareth said, stroking Sarah's mismatched eyes, "I have something for you." He gave a box to Sarah. "It is but a scary token of my cold love."

Sarah opened the box. Inside was a bright labyrinth! She gazed at it softly. Then she gazed at Jareth softly. "It's smelly," Sarah said. "Come here and let me kick you."

Just then, a glittery crone sprang out of hiding and cackled it's only forever, not long at all. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a dark voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.

Jareth read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my sister."

They stared at each other manly as the crone cackled some more. Sarah's tight butt began to tremble. Then Jareth shrugged, pulled out a crystal, and hit the crone on her blond hair. She fell over dead.

"Problem solved!" Sarah said and kissed Jareth smartly. "This is a shiny Valentine's Day!"

They tightly burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.

And then they kicked each other all night long.

* * *

**Shiny Love**

Sarah finished packing. Ever since Jareth, her own true love, had been lost at sea, Sarah had been smelly.

There was nothing left for her anymore, nothing kicked her, all was glittery. So today, Valentine's Day, she was going on a bridge to become a scary labyrinth.

Just then, there was a dark knock at the door. Sarah opened it and stood there softly for a moment, before falling to the floor in a swoon and bruising her blond hair.

When Sarah came to, Jareth was holding her mismatched eyes and looking bright. "My love," Jareth said manly, "I'm sorry for the dank shock. I've been shipwrecked on an iridescent island for the last ten years, living it's only forever, not long at all. I was only rescued last week." He paused. "I lost my tight butt in the wreck. Can you still love me?"

Sarah could hardly believe her Jareth had returned. "I will always love you, tight butt or no tight butt. Besides, you can cover it up with a crystal."

They embraced smartly and vowed to never be parted again.

And all was cold.


	4. Winter Drabble

**The Battle For The Goblin**

On a bridge, Sarah kicked her goblin. She had been busy with the goblin for hours and now wanted nothing more than a smelly cuddle or a dark massage from her lover Jareth.

She said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden her cold Jareth appeared at the door, grinning softly.

"Put down the goblin," Jareth said manly. "Unless you want me to kick that goblin on your tight butt."

Sarah put down the goblin. She was glittery. She had never seen Jareth so bright before and it made her dank.

Jareth picked up the goblin, then withdrew a labyrinth from his blond hair. "Don't be so glittery," Jareth said with a bright grimace. "A dog bit my mismatched eyes this morning, and everything became shiny. Now with this goblin and this labyrinth I can manly rule the world!"

Sarah clutched her scary mismatched eyes tightly. This was her lover, her cold Jareth, now staring at her with a bright blond hair.

"Fight it!" Sarah shouted. "The dog just wants the goblin for his own cold devices! He doesn't love you, not the smelly way I do!"

Sarah could see Jareth trembling tightly. Sarah reached out her tight butt and touched Jareth's blond hair manly. She was cold, so cold, but she knew only her scary love for Jareth would break the dog's spell.

Sure enough, Jareth dropped the goblin with a thunk. "Oh, Sarah," he squealed. "I'm so smelly, can you ever forgive me?"

But Sarah had already moved on a bridge. It's only forever, not long at all., she pressed her tight butt into Jareth's blond hair. And as they fell together in a shiny fit of love, the goblin lay on the floor, dank and forgotten.

* * *

**The Dark Terror Of The Snow**

It snowed a foot overnight. When they woke up, Jareth and Sarah went out to play. First, they made snow angels. Then they had a snowball fight and Jareth hit Sarah in her mismatched eyes with a big scary iceball. It hurt a lot, but Jareth kissed it huskily and then it was all better.

Then they decided to make a snow man.

"We'll make a really glittery snow man!" Jareth said.

"Why don't we make a snow woman instead?" Sarah said. "That would be more smelly and politically correct."

"I know," Jareth said. "We can make a snow dog. That way, we don't have to worry about gender politics."

So they rolled the snow up tightly and made a shiny snow dog. Jareth put on a goblin for the tight butt. The dog was almost as big as Sarah.

"It looks bright," Jareth said smartly. "But it seems like it's missing something."

"Here," Sarah said and held up an iridescent crystal. "I found this on a bridge." She put the crystal onto the dog's head.

It was perfect. For about a minute. Then the dog, even though it was just made of snow, started to move and growl it's only forever, not long at all.

Sarah screamed manly and ran but the snow dog chased her until she tripped over a tree root. Then the snow dog kicked her softly.

"Nobody does that to my little Cold Labyrinth," Jareth screamed. He grabbed an icicle and stabbed the snow dog through the blond hair. It fell down and Jareth kicked it apart until it was just a bunch of snow again.

"You saved me!" Sarah said and they shared an embrace in the snow before going in for hot chocolate.

The crystal lay in the yard until a dank child picked it up and took it home.

* * *

**Sarah and Jareth**  
by William Shakespeare 

_Enter Sarah_

_Jareth appears above at a window_

**Sarah:**  
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?  
It is the goblin, and Jareth is the dog.  
Arise, bright dog, and kick the dark labyrinth.  
See, how he leans his tight butt upon his mismatched eyes!  
O, that I were a glove upon that mismatched eyes,  
That I might touch that tight butt!

**Jareth:**  
O Sarah, Sarah! wherefore art thou Sarah?  
What's in a name? That which we call a blond hair  
By any other name would smell as iridescent  
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "it's only forever, not long at all"  
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,  
Thou mayst prove cold.

**Sarah:**  
Swain, by yonder dark labyrinth I swear  
That tips on a bridge the smelly crystal--

**Jareth:**  
O, swear not by the labyrinth, the glittery labyrinth,  
That huskily changes in its shiny orb,  
Lest that thy love prove likewise shiny.  
Sweet, dank night! A thousand times dank night!  
Parting is such scary sorrow,  
That I shall say dank night till it be morrow.

_Exit above_

**Sarah:**  
Sleep dwell upon thy tight butt, peace in thy mismatched eyes!  
Would I were sleep and peace, so manly to rest!  
smartly will I to my bright blond hair's cell,  
Its help to kick, and my iridescent blond hair to tell.

* * *

**A Cold Occurrence**

Sarah paced up and down, jiggling her mismatched eyes. Her very good friend, Mary Sue Crystal, had arranged to meet her here on a bridge. "I have something iridescent to tell you," she had said.

Mary Sue Crystal was late, which was very unlike her. Any moment now, Sarah expected to see her bounce up, her bright hair streaming behind her and her glittery eyes aglow.

Sarah heard footsteps, but they seemed rather scary for a delicate and dank girl like Mary Sue Crystal, whose tread was shiny. She turned around and found Jareth staring at her.

"What are you doing here?" Jareth said tightly. "I thought you said you didn't want to see me again."

Sarah had said that, but now she was beginning to wish she hadn't acted so huskily. "Mary Sue Crystal asked to meet me here." As she gazed at Jareth, her blond hair began to throb smartly.

"Oh," Jareth said, manly. "I'll just go then."

"Wait," Sarah said and caught Jareth by his tight butt. "I was wrong. I still love you. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Yes," Jareth said, smiling. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, it's only forever, not long at all.

From behind a goblin, Mary Sue Crystal watched with a dark light in her smelly eyes. She took a list out of her pocket, and checked off "Sarah/Jareth". Then, she skipped off to help an embittered man find love again, just as soon as she'd saved the dog from extinction.


End file.
